


Charlie, the Plan Pony, and the Chewy Giant

by RedChucks



Series: Children's Boosh Stories [3]
Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: A Charlie Story, Gen, as narrated by Vince
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 12:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16832953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedChucks/pseuds/RedChucks
Summary: My version of a Charlie Bubblegum story.I hope it’s ok to put it here, I just didn’t want to lose it.





	Charlie, the Plan Pony, and the Chewy Giant

Once upon a time, Charlie and the Plan Pony were having afternoon tea, enjoying a beautiful slice of malt loaf, when suddenly the quiet of the golden autumn day was broken by the sound of booming, like the reverb on a tower of speakers! Charlie and Plan Pony tried to ignore it, they really liked their tea and it took a lot to put them off their loaf but all too soon they were forced to put down their desert forks when a loud voice tumbled across the countryside.

“Fee, fi, fo, fum! I smell a nice piece of bubblegum!”

A giant appeared, all enormous stinking feet and tatty dungeries, and Charlie tried to make a break for it, but the giant sniffed him out, snorting in the air so hard he inhaled a passing finch, and when he saw Charlie he lunged and scooped him up and before Charlie had a chance to explain that he wasn’t fit for human consumption the giant had lobbed the bubblegum bitch in to his giant mouth and chomped down. It was a nightmare, the giant’s saliva was making Charlie well sticky and his bubblegum was getting stuck in his moustache and he knew it’d never come out. He was having a shocker and no mistake. 

Well, obviously the Plan Pony wasn’t about to let some oversized berk with a bad haircut and half a hedge stuck between his toes do that to his friend, and he ran at the giant and rammed his paper head against the brute’s ankle, hoofing him for all he was worth, but it was no use.  
The giant snatched him up, folded the Plan Pony in to an elaborate paper aeroplane, and sent him flying out across the countryside, whipping through the clouds until he looked like he had a long, white, beard and matching eyebrows. He looked so unfashionable and it was humiliating to say the least, especially when he he was snapped by a pack of paps going by in a hot air balloon. He feared he’d never live it down.

The whole situation seemed hopeless, Charlie was being chewed out of shape by teeth that looked like giant lemons and the Plan Pony was airborne and entering international airspace. All was lost, until Plan Pony was intercepted by a family of finches. They were the family of the finch who’d been inhaled by the giant, and were planning a rescue mission or, failing that, revenge for the death of their beloved eldest daughter, and unfolded the Plan Pony and refolded him in to the shape of a mighty Pegasus! 

They grabbed as many acorns as they could in their mouths and flew at the giant, spitting nuts at his eyes and temples like true old school bombers, but he batted them away, sending finch feathers left and right, and they feared that all was lost. The giant was laughing, poor Charlie visible between his horrible teeth, squashed out of shape, his hat stuck down over his eyes but he’d forgotten one thing. It was September, and the Plan Pony was Conkers champion.

The Plan Pony pulled his 29er from his boot, illegally hardened with vinegar and glittery nail varnish, and swung it at the giant’s head. It flew through the air like a mighty horse chestnut, which was what it was beneath the sparkles, and hit the massive, chewing, bully between the eyes, breaking his head apart like a hollow nut and sending his body thudding to the ground. 

The birds screeched in triumph and dove to the broken body of the giant to retrieve their fallen finch child, who was miraculously alive, but Plan Pony only had eyes for Charlie. Their relationship was intense, despite their differences, and the thought that Charlie might not have survived his ordeal brought paper tears to his friend’s eyes. He flew down to where his bubblegum mate had fallen in a pile of golden leaves and nearly brought up his malt loaf when he saw what had become of Charlie’s squishy form.

It was disgusting, Charlie was all twisted out of shape, the dents of the giants teeth set in to his pink body, and no matter how Plan Pony tried to reshape his friend back in to his old form, the shapes were set. It was a dark day. 

Luckily, it wasn’t all bad. The Plan Pony came up with a plan, it was what he was best at, after all, and they set up a dentures business for giants, using the indents in Charlie’s back to create the most realistic sets of oversized teeth the giant community had ever seen. They made a right packet and retired to the south of France to live out their last years in style, the European conkers champions. 

And as for the finches? They feasted on the corpse of the giant until they were drunk on its blood and then set up his rib cage as an entertainment venue for woodland raves and artistic events. They even got a grant from the local council to host a conceptual art exhibit made entirely out of malt loaf. It didn’t get great foot traffic but they got to eat the malt loaf at the end of it and you live and learn. 

The End.


End file.
